February is a challenging month for many, and I’m not just talking about the emotional turmoil around St Valentine’s Day! Schools reopening signal the end of holiday mode and the adjustment to ‘normal’ life. Even without kids, you’ve noticed the increase in traffic on your commute. Then there’s the realisation that a whole month has disappeared and you still haven’t shifted that bad habit you’d promised yourself you would (eating, drinking, smoking, exercising, social media, procrastination?)
Perhaps you’ve just remembered that nothing changes if nothing changes, and it’s only up to you to take action. It’s your life, your choices. No point blaming anyone else; that just makes for an unhappy home or workplace. Remember you deserve to feel successful on the inside too.
Consciously sticking to new routines to form new habits can be very difficult. The fastest and easiest way to make any change is to shift your mindset, at the deepest unconscious level, to realign your values and clear the blocks, your ‘head trash’. To make it easier for those who like to D.I.Y. I’ve recorded powerful Neuro Linguistic Programming processes for you, “Problem Dissolving”, “Self-Forgiveness”, “Learn Self-Hypnosis”, to complement my book “The Face Within: How to Change Your Unconscious Blueprint”.
St Valentine’s Day is the other reason February is my 2nd busiest month for new mindset coaching clients. (My busiest month is actually October, when people realise they’ve been unhappy for another year, family Christmas and school holidays are looming, and they are feeling overwhelmed and fed up.) The media hype and commercialism leading up to 14th February triggers so much marital and relationship dissatisfaction, not to forget emotional blackmail.
If you love St Valentine’s Day and your partner is totally aligned with your needs and expectations – enjoy! I met my partner 10 years ago, less than 2 weeks before 14th February, and we shared the same perspective (he was so relieved!), so all good. For others, put any sense of dissatisfaction to good use. Learn about your love language so you better understand yourself, and your partner’s needs if applicable (free download “Win-Win Loving” – just fill in your details on the right).
Next do a stocktake of your relationship, all the pros and cons, though please don’t do this when you’re feeling particularly grumpy! Explore how you can better be the loving partner you desire. You can’t change someone else, however changing yourself for the better will have a ripple on effect, though not always in ways you might expect. At the least, you will have improved yourself. (For more help see Chapter 12 “Relationships Refreshed” in The Face Within or book a complimentary chat with me.)
A note of caution here: no matter what you have or haven’t done, you do not deserve to be abused in any way – physically, emotionally, psychologically or financially. Nor do your children or pets. Seek expert help. www.DVconnect.org Women’s Line 1800 811 811 Men’s Line 1800 600 636
DV is not just physical. If you suspect you or a friend is in a DV situation, this article will be useful.