Turning Self Sabotage Into Self Motivation: Part 2 Confidence

Do you find yourself spending more time thinking about the task than actually doing it?  Feeling guilty knowing you should be doing something else?  Or do you start and find reasons to stop?  There are 3 steps to moving from self sabotage into self motivation:  Clarity, Confidence then Motivation itself. 

Part 1 Clarity Read here:    http://www.growingcontent.com.au/2011/10/turning-self-sabotage-into-self-motivation-part-1-clarity/

Part 2 Confidence – 6 ways to achieve it.

A lack of confidence is a key cause of self sabotage as we try to protect ourselves from failure, from looking silly, or being criticised.  The dictionary definitions of Confidence include:

1. Full trust, belief in powers, trustworthiness and reliability
2. Belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities
3. Certitude, assurance

So authentic confidence comes from within, from knowing and liking who you are, and with faith in your ongoing abilities to learn and succeed.  Having that certain level of self esteem allows you to feel comfortable with others as you are not on guard for insults and rejection. You know that other people’s issues are simply that, theirs, not yours.

So how do you get this authentic confidence?  In 6 ways:

1. Change your self-talk.  Start encouraging yourself instead of criticising.  You have a choice whether you spend your life with your best friend or the witch.  Tell yourself stories that make you feel better, not worse.
2. Live in the Present.  Too much time in the Past re-running previous mistakes ensures they stay part of your Future – you are actually rehearsing and preparing yourself to repeat the same behaviour.  Too much time in the Future with the negative “What ifs” will paralyse you with anxiety for same reason.
3. Allow yourself to learn.  Stop expecting yourself to know everything or to be able to immediately master a new concept or skill.  As small children we think adults know everything and can do everything, so that’s the expectation that once we grow up we will too.  It’s a lie you need to recognise and let go.
4. Fake it until you make it.  This works because we often appear calmer on the outside than we feel inside.  People are attracted to happy confidence people, so your self esteem increases, you find interactions easier and it builds into genuine confidence through positive experiences.  Ask yourself, “What would a confident person do now?”   Fake it until you make it doesn’t apply to learning a new skill – confess your lack of experience and learn from those before you.  Confident people ask questions to increase their knowledge, and make their life easier.
5. Look for the best in others.  When you see them as people with faults and imperfections just like you, and stop feeling threatened, you can look for the good and really connect.
6. Change your internal image, the blueprint of your unconscious mind.  How you truly see yourself impacts on all aspects of your life.  More about this in Sue Lester’s book “The Face Within”.

These changes can take time if you are working on them by yourself, so allow yourself you make progress one step at a time.  Utilising the powerful techniques of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Results Coaching are the best way to fast track your progress through the self doubt, powerlessness and self-sabotage, but only if you are really ready to change.

So with Clarity and Confidence, you’re now ready for Part 3: Motivation, preferably the sustainable type of self-motivation which keeps you moving forward. Available next month, or if you’re in a hurry, but yourself in now for an individual session with Sue Lester, and smooth your path to where you want to be.