Chasing that elusive Work/Life Balance can be so stressful and lead to so much unnecessary guilt. It’s also one of the most common reasons people ask me for help, through my mindset coaching programmes. The thing is, it’s elusive, because it doesn’t exist. Seriously!
Firstly, think about it, you don’t check out of your life when you check in at work, whether it’s your own business or not. So it’s not about balancing work and life, it’s about balancing your life so you stay engaged, stimulated, happy and energised.
Secondly, I’ve found clients tripping themselves, or beating themselves up trying to achieve an even 50:50 split between business and personal commitments. It generally simply doesn’t work like that. It’s not a see-saw with Work life at one end, Personal life at the other, that you have to carefully balance out, ensuring one side never gets more than the other. Think of it instead as a happy, fulfilled, energised, healthy you on one side, and whatever combination of life you need at the moment to achieve balance with that.
“At the moment” is the key. There are times when you’re thriving on a challenge, absolutely engrossed, loving nutting out the twists and turns, so that naturally claims a higher percentage, remembering you still need health, relationships and other aspects in your balance mix to ensure you last the distance. Other times family or personal needs (like travel for fun!) will claim a higher percentage. Whatever combination you need is perfectly fine as long as it balances out the optimum you on the other side.
Thirdly, it can be too easy for some to insist others’ needs must come first, so then these martyrs are always running on empty, feeling exhausted, underappreciated and a touch resentful. Even a newborn will fail to thrive, even die, if its carer isn’t cared for physically, mentally and emotionally her or himself. In all areas of your life you are a role model. What are you currently modelling to others? Where are you doing them disservice by not teaching them how and why to do what you know, and trusting them to get on with it, in their way, within safety and legal guide lines? Remember, if you rescue someone too early, before they’ve learnt their lesson from the experience, then you’ve just ensued they’ll have to go through it all again, until they do learn. How mean.
Lastly you, and everyone around you, even those driving by that you don’t give the finger to, the shop assistant you don’t snarl at, benefit from you being the very best you possible. That involves giving yourself permission to create whatever mix will equal a happy, fulfilled, healthy, stimulated and energized you. That’s YOU, not a copy of someone else, or someone else’s opinion of who you should be. If you need guidance with that, particularly with clearing the head trash and bad habits blocking your way, let’s have a chat about options.
Or email me your needs and suggested days/times, and I’ll get back to you with an appointment time to suit.